Healing is a painful and beautiful process. There will be days when you think that everything is the past and that your life is perfect, and there will be days when you want to end it all. Healing is an everyday process, a non-stop copying mechanism behavior that will guide you to happiness.
We all need to heal from specific childhood trauma, those maladaptive behaviors society forcibly introduced to us. As young adults, we must unlearn and learn to control our true character, and that includes healing from concussions in the past. It is easier said than doing it, but nothing is impossible. Open your heart to the experience.
One of my most significant childhood trauma was when my house got on fire, my family and I lost everything, and I was BLAME for it. Talking about it does not affect me as it used to; I healed from the past, and now I can openly talk about my experience.
The feeling of blaming yourself for thighs that happen to you is the first thing that you need to work on if you want to heal yourself.
What is this self inside us, this silent observer, a Severe and speechless critic, who can terrorize us And urge us to futile activity and, in the end, judge us still more severely for the errors his reproaches drove us?
• T. S. Eliot, The Elder Statesman
Self-compassion is one of the powerful tools I use to care for myself. Being human means that you are going to make a lot of mistakes and that you should learn from them. Self-compassion is the ability to love yourself unconditionally to the point where blaming yourself for things that you can not control does not affect the way you feel about yourself.
I am an optimistic person to death, and I always try to see the positive in every .situation. That is a decision I took from a young age; otherwise, with everything I had been through, I could be a pessimistic, antagonistic vibe, angry girl. Ooh na!.
Now, here are a few signs that mean that you put in the work to help yourself. If you feel like you are not there yet, I recommend you to do an Our Garden Marathon and reread all of our articles. Whatever I post, I post with my heart and from my experience. I am not perfect, and I do not have any problem admitting it. However, I know who I want to be, and I am currently happy, and that is the goal, pure happiness.
Signs that you are heal
• You do not isolate yourself every time
Yes, I know a few people who usually isolate themself to feel the blame for something that they can not control. Stop the abuse; you are abusing yourself; how do you expect others not to use you? Practice self-compassion. Love yourself unconditionally;
• You enjoy being in the moment
Well, get a good circle of support, people that believe in you. Do not waste your time with the wrong group of people; live up to your dreams and enjoy every little moment that you have on this planet earth.
• Memories do not affect you now
This is a good one; let go of the past. Yes, I know it is hard, but you can always create new happy memories that eventually will outgrow the negative ones. Go out there and start making those memories.
• You do not feel lonely anymore, even when you are alone
Who needs people anyway? Just joking, but the most critical person in this world is you. Who else is available to you 24/7? Who else? Only you, so it should not be a problem to be alone because, in the end, you have your own back.
• You do not need any closure, answers, or assurance
Na me. Most of the time, we torture ourselves; we seek answers or that last conversation. It is unnecessary to look for closure. If you feel like a chapter is still open, let it be, that means that in the future, or maybe never, you will get the answers you were looking for. But are you going to stop there? You have to continue creating new chapters; we are not looking for a happy ending; we are looking for a happy life.
• Your past or any person does not affect your mental health
Maybe this part is where we need to work the most. As part of society, we often behave by what other people think. Criticism, judgment, and more. Who are those people anyways? You can not change the past, but you can create your future. Do not focus on your past traumas; focus on the life of your dreams and take care of your mental state.
• You no longer go into overthinking or imaginary world
That was me a few years ago. I used to torture myself by creating fake scenarios in my head where I could express my point of view. That was unnecessary pain because they would never know how I felt, and I will never repeat the same thing. Plus, the amount of hours we spend in this stage is unhealthy for our mental health. They say time is money, and we are wasting it thinking about something that should not be important to us.
• Your reality makes you feel happy
Let me tell you, I wake up in the morning, and I love everything about my life. Even going to work, and my work is very toxic. But I love myself from the inside, and I love what I see on the outside. I love my house, my dog, and my dysfunctional family. I am at peace, with zero drama, just romantic ones, but that is not preventing me from creating happy memories for the life of my dreams
I would like to hear from you. How do you feel about the healing process, what do you do to help yourself, and do you practice self-compassion? Do you agree or disagree with what I say?
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