Hellorch, my name is Denissa, Deni, or D. I am Dominican and relocated to New York when I was 15. I have had a passion for learning since I was a little girl. I discovered that I can learn by reading, observing, or experiencing crazy situations. And well, I have been doing it all simultaneously ever since then. I have been in a few questionable situations, but I always learn. Well, most of the time, I learned my lessons from those questionable situations.
Today’s article will discuss my life, struggles, and milestones. People may say I am an attention seeker, a drama queen, or a narcissist, but the people who love me know I am kind, respectful, and a true friend. Well, everything is always about me, and I can never love anybody else more than I love myself (Maybe that will change when I become a mother), but because I am a kind person, a lot of people think that it is ok to take advantage of my good heart. I learned that only some people have good intentions like I do, which is ok; they do them, and I do better.
So, moving on, I have been a Denissa and a daydreamer ever since I was a little girl. I used to read science books a year ahead during the summer because I wanted to be prepared for the following year and be ahead of everyone; this is one of my dirty secrets. And yes, I was at the top of all my classes, along with my childhood best friend, Yari. She dreams of becoming a doctor; now, she is the best doctor she has ever dreamt of being, and I am proud of her.
Then, I moved to New York and had the opportunity to meet amazing people. At first, it took a lot of work to make new friends since I could be very selective about who I shared my time with. But I found a group of friends that opened my imagination to another level, and I am grateful for that. I started learning about fashion, photography, music, art, museums, parks, etc., so being at the top of my class was no longer a priority. However, I do not know how I remained at the top; I did not pick up a school book during my entire high school years. I am super smart, that is why 😉
However, it was not as beautiful as it all seemed. I was struggling at home. My father was a single father and was the leading provider. New York is an expensive city, and my father had to provide for four children and two different families, one here and one in the Dominican Republic while working in a restaurant as a dishwasher. I know that many immigrants go through the same thing all the time. That is why I don’t like to make assumptions about anybody. We never see the struggle behind a beautiful face. We are all here following our dreams.
Therefore, I have always been a dreamer, I have always wanted more, and I have always been an intelligent woman, even if I do not try. I am the first one to graduate college in the United States in my entire family tree. I was one of the first ones to become a citizen and be able to vote. I brought my mom to this country so she could live with us and live the American Dream; I also got an apartment for us after living with many families and sharing rooms. I am still not even close to the woman I want to be, but in the meantime, I am proud of who I am and what I am doing now.
I want to be open about who I am because I know the struggle of pretending everything is good. I want to express my feelings and emotions without fear of being judged or misinterpreted, and if that happens, so be it. Ultimately, I know who I am and am the only one who knows all my struggles.
Of course, this has not been my entire life. I can not put my whole life in just one article; I must write a book for that. But if you are taking something from all of this, I would like you to know we are alone. Yes, it could be sad, but it is also beautiful. I discover the most interesting facts about myself when I am by myself. When I dedicate time for myself to analyze situations from a positive point of view, as I say, I am the person I love the most, and I will give myself the entire world if that is what I want. When I say that we are alone, I mean that you are the only one with the power to decide if you want to go left or right, so you’d better choose to be around the best people who cheer you and let you grow otherwise you will not be living your life, but someone else dream.
Things change, we all have good and bad times, and life will continue to be the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. I would like you to take this time to give yourself some love, look back in time, see all those struggles and sacrifices you passed through, and be grateful for that because you would not be here without it. Love yourself, and put yourself as the top priority, the most beautiful thing in the world, because you are not selfish or an attention seeker or a drama queen; you are a person who knows your heart and loves yourself for who you indeed are.
With Love
Denissa
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